When we made the decision to homeschool our son, we knew that there were many positive results we could expect – individualized education, safety, less stress. What we didn’t know was that there would be an unexpected gift of homeschooling.
My relationship with my son was always good. We were close, in spite of the fact that I was gone a lot of the time (working way too much) and he was in school all day. Once I started homeschooling, though, I learned how much closer we could be.
There’s no substitute for spending time with your children. I used to believe that spending just a little time with them was okay because it was “quality time.” I learned that quality time is a myth. The magic of relationship building happens in both small moments of connection and big ones. You never know how and when it will happen, but you have to be together to have a chance for the magic to appear.
When all you have is a little bit of “quality time,” you end up trying to squeeze in the important stuff, leaving no time for the development of deeper levels of trust and sharing. You may be thinking, “But I have that level of trust and sharing with my children even though I only see them for a few hours a day.” I thought that, too, until I actually experienced how much better it could be.
Once we started homeschooling and the amount of time I spent with my son increased dramatically, not only did he blossom, but our relationship blossomed. We became closer. he opened up about all sorts of things that he hadn’t before, mostly because there was never enough time, but also because the more we shared the more trust we developed. Trust between a parent and child isn’t just a given, especially as the child approaches the pre-teen and teen years. It has to develop and grow.
Just as I didn’t know how much love I was capable of feeling until I had a child, I didn’t know how close of a relationship I could have with my child until I started homeschooling. It truly is the unexpected gift of homeschooling.
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